We all make mistakes (adults included) and so it’s important to remember that great people and attributes are built over a lifetime, not overnight. Children do need boundaries and discipline does play a part in parenting but don’t forget that we all have a distance to go in becoming fine people.
To help your child to grow into the amazing adult that you want them to be, try this positive approach to discipline.
- Be Consistent
Don’t allow at one time what is not permitted at another. Be fair and just.
- Avoid Bribery and Making Promises You Can’t Keep
You can’t ‘buy’ good behaviour for long. Parents and children reach a dead end using this method.
- Don’t Break Promises
Change decisions for valid reasons only and explain these to your children.
- Don’t Trade
‘You do this….I’ll do that.’ You should not have to bargain for desired behaviour.
- Discipline Should Not Be Humiliating
Punishments are more effective if given to the child in private. Once the punishment is administered, it should be forgotten.
- Don’t Threaten to Withdraw Affection
This is cruel, creates insecurity and often encourages worse behaviour in the child.
- If You Must Punish Make the Punishment Fit the Crime
Let your own and your child’s temper cool – the offence may not be as serious as it seemed at first.
- Mean Business When You Speak
Threats of future punishment are not as effective as handling each situation when it happens.
- Never Postpone Punishment ‘Till Dad/Mum Gets Home’
Children’s memories are short. Delay makes punishment seem unreasonable. It’s better to deal with the wrongdoer yourself.
- Set Behaviour Goals at a Level the Child Can Achieve
Children are learning all the time, and much prefer to be good. They are discouraged by too frequent failures. We often pay too much attention to misbehaviour and too little attention to good behaviour. Praise the good behaviour much more than commenting on the bad.
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