It is one of the hardest questions a parent can ask themselves about their child. Is my child a bully? The child that I watched grow from a helpless little baby into what they hoped would be a good, kind person? Here’s everything you need to know.
If your child is a bully, you can help them. Admitting that they are halfway there to helping them. The worst thing you can do for your child is denying it and not confronting it. It can be very difficult identifying if your child is a bully and there is no rule. But keeping your eye out for a combination of things might be the best way to go.
What is Bullying?
First, we need to understand it to identify it. Bullying is a broad term that used to be used mainly for kids physically hurting other kids. Or stealing their snacks or lunch money. As times moved on and people became more conscious of the long term effects of kids being bullied. And cyber bullying came into play as well, bullying is now taken very seriously by schools and parents alike.
Furthermore, According to StopBullying.gov, bullying is an aggressive behavior among school children. In addition, it involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is usually repeated over time. Bullying includes actions such as:
- – making threats.
- – spreading rumors.
- – attacking someone physically or verbally.
- – excluding someone from a group on purpose.
How do you know if your child might be a bully?
- – First, if you notice that your child is unusually aggressive.
- – Is fine with the idea of violence.
- – Harms animals.
- – Has friends who are mean.
- – Laughs at other people’s discomfort, misfortune or pain.
- – Lacks empathy, sympathy and compassion.
- – Has an obsession with social status and being popular.
- – If he or she is particularly harmful to their siblings.
- – Lastly, if they are controlling or manipulative – it’s their way or no way.
Understanding why your child might be a bully
- – Your child might be very insecure about themselves. And in order not to show their vulnerability, lash out at others.
- – They might be bullied themselves. Some bullies are bullied at home. They can either be copying the behavior because they think it’s normal. Or they are regaining the control they lack when the tables are turned.
- – They want to be popular with the wrong kids. Sometimes kids bully when they want to fit in with a certain crowd. Or if they feel peer pressure.
- – It is just in their nature.
What do you do if you think your child is a bully?
- – Talk to your child. Explain their behavior and why it is upsetting and not right. Also, try to find out why they are behaving the way they are.
- – If there is a school counselor or your pediatrician, it might be worth asking them for advice.
- – Take your child to a therapist. They will help in properly diagnosing your child if they have behavioral issues.
- – Role playing encourages your child to handle their reactions to certain situations in different ways.
- – Finally, be realistic. Altering a person’s behavior does not happen overnight. Patience and perseverance is essential. Support from friends and family will also help you get through a potentially rough time.
