Do you feel that you are always shouting at your kids? Worse, do you feel you are always shouting about the same things over and over and end up feeling guilty?
Every mum reaches a point in her life. And usually in mid-shout. When she realises that she has repeated the very same words over and over. Louder and louder. Only to find their child standing right in front of them. Staring back apprehensive, bored, bewildered or just a mixture of emotions.
We get it – there’s a lot of pressure.
As mums, it’s your job to teach your children life skills. At least as you possibly can cram into them. But how does losing your temper help cause it certainly doesn’t make you feel better? Children get nothing out of temper tantrums, so is this just a normal outburst for a mum?
Here’s something to note; children have always somehow instinctively known how to press their parents’ buttons. And parents more times than not, fall for it. Let’s examine why mums end up losing their temper frequently and what they can do to curb it.
Mums end up shouting for a variety of reasons. It could be exhaustion, frustration, overworked, over-stretched. Also, it can be trying to juggle too much at the same time, trying to remember too much. There is also too much noise, and pretty much too much of a bunch of stuff. And when you find yourself repeating the same words over and over to your kids. You realize that it just isn’t going through them.
Stop shouting, it does not help.
Studies have found that shouting just does not get the message through to children. Younger children actually feel unloved and insecure when shouted at. It was also found that shouting at children can lower their self-esteem, cause anxiety and stress. And it can encourage them to communicate through shouting as well. Parents tend to forget sometimes that children mimic them; if they are shouted at, they will shout back.
You can avoid reaching the “shouty” stage.
You need to get to whatever point you are trying to convey, across effectively. That is so that you don’t have to keep repeating yourself. If you are cooking and trying to help one of the kids with their reading homework. And explaining to your older child that they are spending way too much time on their phone. Then, the point is not going to get across.
If you want to explain something to your child, you should do just that -simple. Sit with your child in a quiet environment, and gadget-free. Look them in the eye and have a conversation with them. Explain to them the dos and don’ts and the whys and why nots.
As for the harassed mum: take a step back.
When you feel the rise of anger and you hear your voice going up. Step back and use one of your calming tools. Whether it is:
- – Counting to ten.
- – Leaving the room to go somewhere for a few minutes alone.
- – Deep breathing.
- – Making a cup of tea and coffee or listening to your playlist.
- – Isolate yourself from everyone and watch a funny video or two.
Whatever works for you to take your own time out. It will be beneficial to keep your temper in control. These practices will get you out of the heated moment and into a calmer zone in no time.
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