How to let the child follow rules?
3 years ago
How to teach and deliver the rules for 2 years child without saying ( No )?, because I noticed the ( No ) word let the child do it more.
Answer
1. Consistency is key: Firstly, it's important to note that many children will push boundaries & test the limits in their environment. That’s just their human nature. However, despite this truth, it's imperative that parents strive for consistency when it comes to disciplining their kids. Children need boundaries, the more boundaries there are in the home, the more safe & secure your child will feel.
2. Values-based parenting: instead of focusing on the rules, rather anchor the boundaries in your family's values. For example: Instead of saying to your child "You're grounded...because I said so!" rather say the following: "You're grounded because you wouldn't share your toy with your cousin and in our home, we value "generosity". By not sharing, you went against one of our core values. This way, the child understands why they are being grounded & they simultaneously learn about the value of generosity too.
3. Create a Value Wheel: Brainstorm what your top 10 values are & create a colorful wheel with the different values in each spoke (e.g. generosity, kindness, respect, honesty, gratitude, health, courage, flexibility, integrity & trust). Allow your kids to be a part of this creation so that they are well informed what your values are in the home, rather than trying to enforce "rules" in the home. Every time your child oversteps a boundary or misbehaves, you can point to the value wheel & explain why they will be grounded.
4. Walk your talk: Put these values into action by modeling them to your kids. Point it out when your kids carry out a values-driven action too (e.g. "I am proud of you for having the 'courage to try out a new extra-mural activity at school").
5. Call a time-in: instead of sending your kid to time-out or "the naughty corner", rather send them to the "thinking corner" or to their rooms to go take some time-in & reflect on their behavior (e.g. "Go think about what caused you to pull your brother's hair, how you felt before you did that & what you could have done differently. When you are done thinking about it, let's problem-solve together too."). This way you start building your child's self-awareness muscle, which is one of the pillars of Emotional Intelligence.
- Christine Kritzas (Counselling Psychologist & Education Director at The LightHouse Arabia)
The Lighthouse Center
mental health and wellness clinic
3 years ago